Questions and Answers

Q: What should we wear to the wedding?
A: The simple answer is, "black tie encouraged." The more detailed answer is that we request elegant, dressy attire (no t-shirts or casual clothing, please), and encourage our guests to be as formal and extravagant in their dress as you like. We're both clotheshorses, and for us, dressing up is an integral part of a celebration. We hope you'll choose to celebrate with us in that same spirit. Tuxedos, ballgowns, huge hats, period clothing, Chinese-influenced attire, tailored suits, beautiful dresses-it's all good, as long as it's elegant and celebratory. Don't worry too much about colors, either; all-black is entirely appropriate (black is one of the colors of our wedding, in fact), and you won't be committing any etiquette or fashion sins if you wear white or red.

As it will be an April evening, it could be chilly. The ceremony might be held outdoors, depending on the weather. (If there is any chance at all of rain, it will be indoors, but the decision won't be made until the morning of the wedding.) Please bring something to ward off the chill, if necessary.

Q: May I bring a date?
A: Yes, but you're not required to. :) We did our best to include all known significant others on the invitations, but recognize that we might have missed some or that circumstances change. If your envelope/reply card didn't include a name or "Guest," please e-mail us and let us know you have someone you would like to bring. Please make sure to include your date on your reply card when you return it so that we can ensure there is food and drink for all.

Q: May we bring our children?
A: If you would like to, please do. Their names should have been included on your invitation and reply card (hopefully we didn't miss anyone). Do keep in mind that this is a formal wedding, so your children should be ready for spending the evening around a bunch of extravagantly-dressed adults, and should be appropriately dressed themselves. Please make sure you include them on your reply card. (If your children are young enough not to need their own plates at dinner, please note that.)

Q: The wedding is aboard a ship. Will we be out on the lake? Will we be stuck on board for hours?
A: No. The Skansonia is permanently moored; we'll be on the water but with access to land at any time. You may leave when you choose to.

Q: May we smoke on board?
A: There is no smoking inside the Skansonia. There are designated smoking areas outside. The Skansonia staff can direct you to them.

Q: What kind of ceremony should we expect?
A: It will be non-denominational and not culture-specific, reflecting traditions and rituals from several sources that have meaning to us. We want it to be warm, celebratory, and inclusive. We also want it to be fairly short. :)

Q: May we take photos?
A: Yes please, especially during the reception. We of course have a photographer, but think that other people can get shots the photographer won't be able to (because he can't be everywhere at once), and any photos you choose to share with us would be enormously appreciated. Please be careful using flash where it might interfere with the official photographer's shots.

Q: Why did you choose this date? Did you know that it's the same weekend as Convergence 11?
A: The date was originally chosen based on a number of practical factors involving Kevin's job, Lisa's commitments, and finances. We didn't realize that it was the same weekend as C11 until we had already booked the location and made our deposit. We want to make sure that people know we don't consider it a "competition" between us and Convergence, and hope that everyone who goes to San Diego has an absolutely splendid time.

Further, after we had chosen the date, Kevin's mother told us that it was the same date as her marriage to Kevin's father, Steve. Steve died when Kevin was very young, and having our wedding on this date--however serendipitously we chose it--is a way of including him in the wedding. Even if we could have changed it, we wouldn't have because of that connection.

Q: Where are you going for your honeymoon?
A: We are hoping to spend a few days in Victoria, BC the week after the wedding. We are dreaming of a longer trip to distant lands as our "official" honeymoon, hopefully in a year or two.

Q: Are you registered anywhere?
A: Yes. We are registered at Target, Bed Bath & Beyond, and Pier 1 Imports. Listed under Van Every, Mathews, and April 24, 2005. All three registries are available online as well as in the stores. Gifts that can be put towards a honeymoon would also be appropriate.

Q: Are you changing your name(s)?
A: No. We're each very proud of our names and don't feel either of us needs to change to show our commitment to each other.

Q: What are those symbols on your wedding invitation?
A: On the front of the invitation, we use two Chinese characters. The first is the character for "love," ai, which combines the pictographs for "heart," "embrace," and "person." The second is shuangxi, or "double happiness," which is commonly used to represent marriage. These symbols are also used on this website.